Killing my Food

It's easy to insulate ourselves from the brutality of the natural world. We pay for bombs that fall on the other side of the earth, we shop in malls that were once habitat of wild animals, and we stuff ourselves with meat that was once a living being that desperately wanted to stay alive. Our actions cause death and destruction. Even vegetarians should know that many animals (deer, rabbits, mice, pheasants, fox...) are killed and their habitat destroyed each year beneath $500,000 combines while wheat, soy, and corn are being harvested. Now, I have no problem with vegetarianism or veganism. I've probably spent a total of 3 years of my life as a vegetarian off and on, and I would consider experimenting with a vegan diet in the future, but I just want to make it clear that life feeds on life, and we all have to make partners with death, if we want to continue sucking in sweet blue air, and keep our futures open to all the possibilities that it entails.

It's so easy, so convenient to forget about these brutal facts of life when we're buying neat packages of meat from overcrowded supermarkets, but I won't let myself forget. That's why I killed a deer this year. I shot a doe dead from 60 yards away, right in front of her 3 fauns. I continue living, but I had to destroy something beautiful in order to do so. It was exhilarating and heart-wrenching. I believe there are a lot of hunters and non-hunters alike who do not appreciate that dichotomy. Non-hunters prefer to let other people do their dirty work for them, and they avoid the feelings of sadness and guilt, because they have chosen to believe a supermarket created illusion rather than the bloody reality. Hunters also suppress or brush off the feelings of sadness that come with killing a deer, and they focus on the adrenaline rush and/or the trophy. They're afraid only sissies let themselves feel that sadness that comes from taking a life. Macho-men kill and boast and leave the crying for the women. Not me, I think it's essential to open ourselves up to the sadness of this cruel world, not ignore it or hide from it. I killed a deer. I'm a killer, and so are you.

Indian Creek on Dwellable